Time...

Funny how I constantly feel the urge and need to write here and get things off my chest but can't even find the time to do so...

What's the point???

I was just going to leave this blank hoping someone could give me some insight...feel free...
Is there one?

Is it time to give up?

Is there really a point to all this? Is my purpose in life to help others and have no life in return? Business isn't going well, I have a major bank loan to pay without mentioning all other debts... Is this worth is?
I can't even afford my own personal bills right now.
Should I just give up and try to sell? What then?
There are good days and not so good ones, this is one of the really bad ones...
Bills to pay and no money, I can barely stand on my feet but have to work starting in the morning until late at night, weekends too... I'm getting sooo tired and feeling more and more lonely...
Is it worth it?
Not only does my work life push people away, right now so do I. I want a break from everything and don't know what to do about it, where to turn to. I just take refuge at work but I feel my body and mind overworked.
I feel like I am doing so many things wrong, I just don't know what they are...

Relationships

Funny how relationships work.
You assume that people who are close to you and watch you struggle to have the strength to do your job as best as you can, know how tiresome it can be, how time consuming it is, how you wish you had time to do all the other things you want in your life. How you wish you could just go out for drinks without worrying that someone might call you with an emergency. How you want to participate in things but can barely move your body or formulate a thought because you used all you strength during working hours even when you thought you had none left. You'd think they'd understand especially when they've been right there next to you watching all this happen.
Well, reality check: they might say they do, but they don't. They still get pissed off if you say you can't go out because you need some sleep or that you don't want to go shopping on your only day off in months because you want peace and quiet. They will ALWAYS take it too personally, because it IS personal to them.
How selfish am I if I finally have a day off and want it for ME, not to hear about people's complaints, not to go to IKEA, not to have people around and have to smile when I don't want to anymore, not to hear about other people's pets for a while, just for me???
Don't get me wrong, I am very social and I love animals but sometimes, just sometimes, I want ME time! And if I decide to spend that time sleeping or watching TV or not doing anything, is that so wrong???

This is what happens:

Due to:

Weekend

Is it really? Does the week ever end?
If you work Saturdays, you know what I mean and if you have hospitalized animals forget about Sundays too!
Don't get me wrong I love my job but as I said, it gets lonely.
You come in weekends, holidays, mornings, nights...you want to make sure everyone is ok, that they're eating, drinking, pooping and peeing...give them all their medications, make sure that they're not depressed from being in a strange environment...
Sometimes I wish I didn't care as much, but how can you help it when you have defenseless creatures depending on you? Owners that see their pets as family members just wanting them back home healthy, safe and sound? You can't help but feel for them too...
But where does my life come into this? Time with my friends? Partner? I always get home too tired for anything...
What am I doing wrong? Am I doing anything wrong or does it just come with the job? Am I the only one feeling this way?

Just starting...

As a vet, life has many rewards but also many prices to pay...
Loneliness is one of the highest.
You spend your day, taking care of precious lives, listening to your clients' problems, helping them solve them (even when they're not related directly to their pet), listening to several complaints (sometimes pretty stupid ones) always with a happy face, a smile...
What about the days you no longer feel like smiling? You still do...
It gets to a point that when a pet urinates in your office for the 1 thousandth time after you've cleaned everything up and disinfected everything that it starts getting a little too much! But you still smile and tell the owner, 'oh, it happens...' when you really feel like shouting in their face 'HOW ABOUT WALKING YOUR PET BEFORE YOUR APPOINTMENT???? HE WON'T BE SO AGITATED AND I WON'T NEED TO SPEND MY TIME CLEANING HIS POOP OR/AND PEE!!!
I should explain...
Imagine having your own practice, something you've always dreamed of but all bills are so high, you can't hire anyone, what's the result?
Day in and day out of cleaning, feeding, treating, diagnosing, making decisions, listening to people whining and moaning and complaining about your prices when you know they're the lowest in the vicinity and barely cover your bills...doing surgery, bathing and grooming...the list is endless and I'm not even going into all the paperwork that needs to be done on a daily basis...
Waking up early, arriving home late...
Loneliness....

This is what vets should be doing:

This is what it should feel like everyday:

This is how it feels like most days: